remember that tony choosing to be on good terms with his father and his memory speaks to tony’s heart and his choices, not howard’s. he clearly spent a long time resenting his dad, and finding out that howard cared about him (regardless of whether he showed it or not) brought him a kind of peace he didn’t have before when he assumed howard downright disliked him

i just think that discussion regarding that scene shouldn’t revolve around whether or not it ~redeemed howard (which it didn’t) /whether howard should be redeemed at all (he shouldn’t) as much as it should focus on tony and his own relationship with his childhood. tony thanking howard and saying that his dad did the best he could doesn’t mean howard did a good job. it means tony has been freed of the burden of thinking howard did a bad job because he disliked his son